I’m done with the Dancer. As it turns out, he already has a relationship with someone else.
Which confuses me like hell, because why does no one around us know about that? Why did he start flirting with me in the first place? Why did he tell me everything was going to be all right when he knew it wouldn’t?
Problem is, I don’t think I can stop liking him at the moment. He’s so confusing! It makes me angry, it makes me want to scream and cry and never leave the house all at the same time. Biggest problem is that I probably can’t hate him for being honest with me.
I wrote that on Sunday night, right after he told me. I then went to his place so that we could talk face to face and he could explain everything. Which was an interesting conversation.
As it turns out he’d been dating this other girl for a while, but she didn’t want anything serious so he thought they were over. That was months ago, one of our mutual friends told me that back in January he was getting tired of her. That mutual friends also assured me that if he had thought there was even the slightest thing going on between them he would have told me to not get involved with the Dancer. This friends was even more shocked than I was to find out that they were in a relationship now.
Apparently the other girl was under the impression that they were in a relationship, while the Dancer thought they were done. He thinks he owes it to her to try and make it work, which sucks for me, but I couldn’t cry over it Sunday evening.
So I had the worst night sleep in months Sunday night, because of this. Then on Monday I felt okay, we even danced together like normal, but when I got home I felt so lonely and sad that I cried my heart out. Luckily for me one of my friends was bored and came over to comfort me. That made me feel a lot better.
The Dancer is still giving off mixed signals. Holding my hand just that tiny bit too long after we stopped dancing and putting his arm around me more than two people dancing together have to. And most confusing of all he told me that he probably hurt the wrong one, which is telling me he isn’t convinced he’s made the right decision. I think he made the rational decision rather than the emotional one, because he told me he really likes me.
Yesterday the Dancer also told me his partner is quitting competitive dancing and that he would like to dance with me. I’m happy to dance with whoever, so I said yes, hoping that being around me will remind him that I am as awesome as I am and to make him realise what he is missing out on.
We’ll see where things go from there.