Disclaimer: there will be some negativity in this post. I needed to get it out of my system, you’ll get why after reading this.
Normally I’d be back in uni on Monday, but since today and tomorrow is a national holiday, well for the Christians and my uni is supposed to be Christian, we’ve been given two days off, hurray! This means I get to stay with my parents for two days more than usual. Great, you’d think. I love being at home with my parents, but this long weekend, things were different.
First of all, my dad was ill. Not a flu ill, just a really bad cold and he kept feeling sorry for himself all weekend. I don’t know what it is about men, but when they’re ill they act like the world is going to end or something. I mean, just man up and do what you have to do or go to bed and stop complaining. Of course I understand it sucks to have a cold that bad and to also have a bruised rib so that coughing feels like someone has stabbed you, but I don’t want to hear about it all day.
Over the last few months, whenever I’m at home, all I get from my sister is a big mouth and/or an attitude. She has her job on Saturday and usually she’s with her boyfriend on Sunday, so it would be nice if she could just try to be nice to me that hour a week I actually see her. But no, her boyfriend and school work are more important. I think she might have hit puberty a bit late.
Luckily for me, my mom was nice. She always wants to give me a hug when I ask for one and she doesn’t give me a hard time when I spend all day watching YouTube videos (maybe she should though…;)).
Then came Monday. My dad went back to work even though he was still sick and my sister went to school. My mom had asked me to bake something, so I did, Chocolate and Caramel Tart. My sister came home from school, she said it was fine, my dad came home from work and said it was fine. Dinner was good, we ate fries, on a Monday:). My mom made an exception, because I really wanted fries and it was a special occasion because we could have dinner together for a change, all four of us. But it all went downhill from there.
My sister decided to do some homework. That’s good, she’s been stressed lately because she had exams she needed to pass as she is in her last year of high school. However, she decided it would be fun if she played music. Out loud. In the living room. Really old music. She’s done this before and we’ve had multiple arguments about it before, but I still decided that after fifteen minutes I’d had enough. Very politely, I asked if she could maybe plug in her earphones. I don’t remember the details, but somehow it came down to me saying I though that she should ask if everyone was okay with her playing music out loud and her saying that she thought she should be aloud to play music without everyone’s permission. As per usual, when I tried to respond to that, my sister decided to ignore me. If there is one thing that makes me more annoyed and angry when I’m already slightly annoyed, it’s her ignoring me.
Also as per usual, this is the point where my mom gets involved. This always happens, she doesn’t want us to fight(basic parent instinct), so whenever my sister starts to ignore me, I always end up fighting with my mom. Which also leads to me saying that maybe I should just go back to my own place immediately, to which my mom started crying this time. She thought is was unreasonable for me to say that every time something doesn’t go according to plan. So my mom went out for a walk(for your information, there’s a storm going on outside) and maybe I shouldn’t have done it, but I got really angry with my sister because I felt like she always lets mom fight her fights for her. And I finally got a reaction.
After she claimed it doesn’t matter what she said because I always get angry and me telling her I felt like mentioned above, she exploded. And I mean exploded like I normally explode. I’ve never seen her explode like that. Crying, screaming, then going to her room while slamming the doors.
In the mean time my mom got back from her walk. I needed to finish my tart, so I deed while having a conversation with my mom about what happened. My mom went upstairs to check on my sister and got her to come downstairs to eat some tart. I don’t know why I got upset after that, maybe it was the fact that my dad couldn’t taste anything of the tart, maybe it was because the tart wasn’t as good as I’d hoped, maybe it was the fact that my sister kept sighing and looking at her phone, but what made me cry was the fact that my sister decided to take the hazelnuts off her tart, while I’d explicitly asked her if it was okay if I put hazelnuts on the tart. It was such a silly thing, yet it made me cry and hide in my room. And then my sister spilled the beans about why she was being super sensitive.
What exactly it was doesn’t matter, the conclusion is that it is no good to keep your feelings inside. I’m normally someone who tells my mom a lot about how I feel, but I do keep some things to myself. Whenever it gets to much, I explode, much like my sister did today. My point is, talk to someone. There’s always someone willing to listen, even if it’s just the internet.