Random Thoughts

Words

Words. Not really my forte. At least not to express feelings.

Words are just letters put in order and somehow they make sense. Feelings are abstract and most of the time they don’t make sense. How can you like someone when you’ve met them five minutes ago and haven’t spoken to them or don’t even know their name? How can you know within a few seconds that you don’t like the person across the room? Why are you jealous when you see the person you like with someone else even though you never even talk to this person?

Words come easy when I need to write essays and reports or when I’m doing a presentation, but whenever I need to express my feelings my mind and fingers seem to stop working. I just don’t know how I should describe certain things I’m feeling and that’s the problem with most feelings, it’s hard to put them into words even if you do understand what you’re feeling. Which is rarely the case.

Words make up thoughts. But feelings are no thoughts. Sometimes feelings can evoke thoughts and sometimes thoughts can make you feel things, but feelings are never words. I find it hard to admit my feelings, I don’t like being mean to people and I don’t like being teased because I like someone.

Words are written on my face, some people say and with that they mean that my face spoils how I’m feeling inside. But I never say they out loud. Problem is that keeping them inside makes me explode every few months. There will be crying, screaming and possibly a fight with someone. Hopefully a blog will help me getting them out more often. And explode less.

Words. Sometimes someone manages to put them onto paper for you, in a song or a poem or a book. They’ve managed to translate feelings into words. Those people have a gift. I wish I was one of those people.

Words. Not really my forte. At least not to express my feelings.

-Anne

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